Domestic Violence Against Men
“Woman kills husband, tries to pass death off as due to Covid; arrested” – Hindustan Times
“Delhi woman allegedly kills in-laws, husband was at home during crime” – NDTV
“Gurgaon: 17-Year-Old Dies By Suicide After Being Accused of Molestation” – Livewire
These are a few headlines from leading media houses during the COVID-19 lockdown. Do you still think it’s a gender issue? It has gone beyond gender norms. It’s about time we realize that domestic violence has more to do with mental soundness and power equation within a relationship. Sensitization and law reforms must happen for all genders.
With changing times, we altered our laws to empower women, and now the time has come for us to bring regulations to protect men as well. With a significant increase in false domestic violence & dowry cases and many men falling prey to unverified internet probes & accusations, we have to relook at our societal, legal & moral definition of a ‘victim’. Victims shouldn’t be characterized by gender. A more holistic approach is the need of the hour. While we continue to uplift the female force, we must ensure no human becomes collateral damage during that process, whether men or their children.
Domestic violence against men & parental alienation are a few subjects that have come to light after the surge in false 498A cases. While trying to empower one section of society, another goes down to the dumps.
Cruelty sees no gender; it can arise from any person who is filled with hate, vengeance or narcissism. Be it mental or physical, men are also victims of domestic violence. There are plenty who have lost their lives, and there are several who are merely surviving with a lost purpose. In 2016, a movie called Martyrs of Marriage was released that addressed the growing atrocities against men across the nation. It also pitched the idea of making gender-neutral laws.
For various reasons, perturbed women can’t reach courts and get justice. Similarly, a lot of domestic violence cases against men go unreported because of the social construct for men; they aren’t allowed to be emotionally fragile. They find it challenging to come out in the open and show their vulnerable side to the world. And even when they would want to come out with the cruelty meted out by their ‘bitter’ half, there is neither a social forum nor a legal forum. In fact, in legal terms in India, the Law created for the prevention of Domestic Violence doesn’t even consider that a man can be a victim of Domestic Violence in India.
In 2014, a study involving 1,104 male and female students in their late teens and early twenties found that women are more likely than men to be controlling and aggressive towards their partners, more likely to demonstrate a desire to maintain their partners, and more likely to use physical aggression in ensuring that control. The principal author of the study, Elizabeth Bates, wrote, “This suggests that intimate partner violence may not be motivated by patriarchal values and needs to be studied within the context of other forms of aggression, which has potential implications for interventions. Another report by the US Department of Justice on non-fatal domestic violence from 2003–2012 found that 76 per cent of domestic violence was committed against women and 24 per cent was committed against men. Unfortunately, no studies like these exist, and any Government Department in India has made no reports.
The definition of domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. Emotional and verbal abuse can be just as damaging. It is well-known that emotional pain is more hurtful than physical pain. As a man, your spouse or partner may be:
- Nagging you or criticizing you for who you are and your choices.
- Verbally abusing you, belittling you, or humiliating you in front of friends, colleagues, or family, or on social media.
- Possessive, act jealous or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful.
- Tring to control how you spend money or deliberately defaulting on joint financial obligations.
- – Threatening to leave you and preventing you from seeing your kids.
- Tring to control your relationship with your friends, parents or relatives.
- Demanding unreasonably expensive gifts or possessions merely to show off.
As Suzanne K Steinmetz, in her study “The Battered Husband Syndrome”, says “, Women are as likely to select physical conflict to resolve marital conflict as are men … women have the potential to commit acts of violence, and under certain circumstances, they do carry out these acts.”
Humanity goes beyond gender or any prejudices put across by us humans. Once we start seeing through the biases, we can build a just world for all genders. So, let’s be humans first. Look through the lens of humanity and not gender. Say NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Period. Without any other word attached to it.
If you want to know the latest judgment favouring men in Domestic Violence Cases, I would suggest you go through this page
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