Children of Warring Couples

Children of Warring Couples. Custody Battles. Parental Alienation. Indian Laws. The most vulnerable segment of society to the COVID-19 outbreak is the children, not just physically but mentally as well. They are confined to their homes, and suddenly, their life has seen a 360 turn. They don’t know what is happening around them. They can’t go to school, meet their friends, or go out to play, and their life is way beyond the ordinary right now.

But there’s one more section in children that has become even more vulnerable – the children of warring couples going through custody battles. Custodial parents are using this time as an opportunity to further alienate the child from their non-custodial parent and the extended family. Every day, they are being fed with false information that is scarring and haunting.

Parental Alienation Syndrome was first recognized in India by the Apex court in the case of ‘Vivek Singh vs Romani Singh.’ Parental Alienation is a constant hate campaign driven by one parent towards the other. The ulterior motive of this inhuman activity is to damage the relationship of the child with the other parent. This is often filled with lies and irrelevant information the child is not supposed to know at a tender age. The child’s ability to decide what’s right and what’s wrong is crushed. The child is kept from any outlet; they are discouraged from making friends and talking to people about the parent. A different picture is shown; the child is carried around like a trophy to gain appreciation and compliments for how they care for the child, even while being a single parent.

The motto of this is to 

1. Win the custody battle
2. Erase the memories of the other parent from the child’s life
3. Scar the opponent
4. Satisfy ego

The alienator never pays heed to the emotional and mental impact of this cruel activity on the child. The child’s wishes are always ignored. At times, the alienator steeps to new lows and files severe false complaints against the targeted parent to win the battle. Often, the alienated children grow up with a confused mind; some resort to violence and drugs, some never get their confidence back, and few also get suicidal.

The custodial parent wants the control that they lost during their marriage; they think, through their children, they can win that control back and harass the non-custodial parent even further. These are traits of a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, alienators in most cases, suffer from NPD, and that’s the foremost reason why their marriages also fail in the first place. Women often launch these battles because they get custody of young children. When the child reaches an impressionable age to express his views, he is alienated to the point that he doesn’t even want to meet the other parent. Sometimes, they are suppressed and muted even when they wish to maintain a cordial relationship with both parents.

We will discuss NPD further in the following article. The courts must take stringent steps in custody battles. If any parent is seen alienating the child from the other parent, the court should reprimand the person with profound implications. Contempt applications should be worked upon quickly, and the accused should be taken to task for not adhering to the court orders. In a situation where children cannot meet their non-custodial parent, the court should have mandated that video calls be made instead of visitations. In a recent order, the Apex court mentioned that ‘parents with visitation rights can contact children via video,’ but they added that the same can be done through mutual agreement. Do you think warring couples have it in them to reach a mutual consensus? The laws have to be more stringent and backed by research.It’s about time we reform custody laws in India.

In the case of Sharli Sunitha vs D. Balson on 20 November 2006, Madras High Court said, ‘Mother is not always the right person for the child’s custody.’ Motherhood is an emotion. The grandparents caring for the child when both parents are working also exhibit motherhood. A single father whose wife passed away also displays motherhood when he takes care of his kids. The child needs a healthy environment to grow up in, and an alienating parent can never provide that with all the negativity and hatred inside them. A parent who is involved continuously in hate-mongering and keeping the child away from the other parent against his wishes is not capable of providing a secure environment.

If you think parental alienation should become a punishable offence, please sign this petition http://chng.it/8ww6d6QMQw – Your one sign can help save many lives.